Friday, October 15, 2010

I wish I had photos of my younger self so you guys can see how much mistakes, and STUPIDITY it took to bring me to where I am now.

I have just been overwhelmed with messages of people telling me how much of an amazing/ beautiful person I am.

Its so crazy because I have just been such an emotionally unstable train wreck my entire life, I cannot even count the phases I went through, the people I hurt so horribly, or the times I hurt myself. I think what I should be living right now at my age, or even in years to come I lived at such a young age and FAST. I have just seen so much and felt so much. I have done so much wrong.

Now I am just in such a good place, but sometimes I am feeling so good that I cannot connect to the piece of shit I once was [or still am ;)], I think you should always see the bad in you, because duality is in everything, sometimes I think i am not even the same person, which is just my ego taking over telling me i am just this nice person now, which is just not at all correct. I am human. I am stupid. I am bad but I am good.

I think sometimes you have to make it a point to kick your ego's ass. that is all.